Aminah’s life changed in 2020 when she met ICRC staff who told her about the accompaniment program. She was asked if she would be willing to undergo training to become an accompanier. She also learned that under the program, the ICRC could give grants to families of missing persons to help them start their businesses or allow them to continue with existing ones.
“In our first meeting, I talked to strangers about everything that I felt. All of my pent-up emotions. I told them about all the pain that I had kept in my heart for years. I felt a huge relief. It was a very good feeling to be heard,” Aminah revealed.
Aminah was trained with other families and learned how to cope with her feelings. Being an accompanier has helped her in her journey of healing. The program gave her a safe space to talk about her painful experiences.
“The other families could feel what I’m feeling. They are fighting for survival, too. I am not alone. I learned from their experiences,” Aminah said.
Her work as an accompanier allows her to help families of missing who are going through the same problems she had.
“During the first session of my group, the atmosphere was dark and heavy. Everyone was carrying their baggage and they were hesitant to unload in front of strangers. It was hard for them to speak up. But that’s where I, as an accompanier, stepped in. I was there to help them help with their burdens,” Aminah said.
Being an accompanier also changed her personality. She’s become more outgoing. She’s stopped isolating herself and has even traveled with her children.
“I used to be a shy and quiet person. In the past, I didn’t like sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone. But ever since I became an accompanier, I have become friendlier and more helpful. I am now more comfortable opening up to people. I feel free,” Aminah shared.
Even her mother and sister have been changed by the program.
“I saw the changes in them each time they attended a session. My mother, who used to be hopeless, slowly started to leave the cage that she built around herself. She also started small businesses with the help of ICRC,” she added.
Despite the progress that she has made, she still misses her husband and her father.
“Until now we cannot find them. They haven’t come home. The pain of missing someone is unimaginable. But I told myself, I am here for a purpose. I have to continue my life no matter what,” she said.
Sometimes, Aminah meets people who do not fully empathize with the families of missing people. She is urging them to respect the families who have lost their loved ones in Marawi.
“They do not know the sufferings that we have had to endure. The pain will always be here in our hearts. Even if the wound heals, our scar will always be here,” she added.
As Sarah and Aminah try to find some normalcy in their lives, the ICRC is urging the authorities to provide clarity on the fate and whereabouts of people who have gone missing due to the conflict in Marawi. Seven years have passed, and the families have the right to receive answers.
Under IHL, the authorities have an obligation to prevent disappearances and account for those who do go missing during an armed conflict. Providing clarity on the missing’s fate and whereabouts is enshrined in the Geneva Conventions, which the Philippines is a party to. It is high time for the families to know what has happened to their loved ones, for them to heal.
*Names have been changed to protect the subjects’ privacy.
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